The Cover
by animelover554
Summary: Eric Cartman hates everything he sees in the mirror. So does his mother, and almost everyone else. But, will someone look beyond the cover of a Nazi Sympathist? M for adult themes and possible sexual situations. If you don't like boy on boy, dont read.
1. Chapter 1: A new beginning

**I do not own South Park.**

I looked in the mirror… I hated everything I saw. The boring brown eyes that were once filled with such laughter and passion.. Even anger would be better then lifeless eyes, that contained no emotion except pure exhaustion with the world and the life I was thrust upon. My hair, boring brown, waving and falling just under my ears. I smiled in the mirror, and tears fell down my face. You'd think this fake smile, this one that I had fabricated over the last year, when their was no longer anything to smile about, would become apparent to my group of so called "friends." But no, they haven't seen a change in me, they still see the cocky self-rightous nazi bastard. The only change they can see is the physical one. I grabbed my stomach, if you could even call it that. No, what was once the aftermath of many bags of cheesy poofs and the nickname fatass, was now a bad of bones. Fatass. It had been stitched into my being, a part of me. Not that I could blame my friends, with how I treated them. Hippie. Poor piece of crap. Jew. Yes, they all had nicknames, too. They simply brushed theirs off, cause they had self-respect. I did not however. That had been taken away by my crack whore mother, who in the company of others seemed like an angel. But behind closed doors, she called me more names the any mother should ever call her child. She stuck me over and over, beating the words into me. She said that if I ever told-… My stomach growled, shaking me from my thoughts. And then pain hit me –the starving. It was really getting to me. I often missed school, I couldn't sleep and I barely dragged myself out of bed. My friends asked me- I told them I skipped. The only person who seemed to care- Butter's, told me to tell people about my problem. He didn't know about my mom. Fuck, the only reason he even knew, is because he walked in on me with my finger down my throat and the contents of my lunch in the toilet. I made him promise not to tell- I told him I didn't want anyone to know how low I'd hit. Everyone thought I was healthy- even though it was quiet the opposite. I was still called fatass, but it was more out of habit. I guess I couldn't really blame my friends. They did care to some extent, and I had covered my tracks.

"Fuck this. I need to be put out of my misery." I ran down the stairs and ran into my mom. She had on ratty clothes, messed up make-up on her face, and a cig in her mouth.

"Where the fuck do you think your going tubby. Oh no, its pukey, now isn't it?" she said smirking. I brushed past her, tears in my eyes.

"Im going to kill myself," I said under my breath.

"Bout time. Leave me outta the suicide note, ey? It's the least you could do for me, yah piece of crap." She started up the stairs, stopping halfway. I stopped, my breath catching. Tears flowed down my face, thudding against the carpet. "Don't forget your jacket, poopsie-kins," she said, mocking me. I ran out the door, collapsing on the steps, balling my eyes out. I stumbled across the lawn, staggering as my vision overflowed with tears. I heard a car, and I jumped out into the street, looking at it dead on. A car honked, and a strange peace overflowed me. Yes… It's finally over…

The car screeched to a halt. No! I thought to myself. I sank to the ground, shaking. I heard a car door open, and someone stepped on the pavement. They grabbed my shoulder's and screamed, "DUDE, WHAT THE FUCK ARE YOU DOING? ARE YOU BRAIN DAMAGED?"

I snickered and kept my focus on the ground. "Can't a guy kill himself in piece?" I looked up at the guy and time stopped. Kyle. Fuck.

"Ca-arrt-man? D-id I just hear that w-wrong." Kyle said, tears falling down his face, his hand over his mouth.

"FUCK! " I shouted, getting up, pacing.

"WHY THE HELL ARE YOU TRYING TO KILL YOURSELF YOU IDIOT?" Kyle shouted, tears falling down his face.

"Why do you care?" I said, staring into his eyes. Kyle Broflofski. Red curls, that hung under his ears, frizz no longer an issue. His frame slender, but fit. His eyes- perfect. Which were no overflowing with tears, thanks to me. Im such an asshole. Why can't I do anything right? My perfect jew…

Shock filled his face. "Believe it or not, but I fucking care about you! We may fight, but your still my fucking friend! How could you try to kill yourself? You have so much to live for. Your smart, you have friends, a mom who loves you and are STRONG- STRONGER THAN THIS! He shouted. The Eric Cartman I knew would never take his own life! And another thing-" He stopped. Tears were falling down my face, and I started balling.

"That's because I'm not the Eric Cartman you know! Im weak, and I hate it! I hate myself, just like the rest of you! My mom- she practically begged me to jump in front of the car. I've been living a lie for the past year! Look!" I lift up my shirt crying.

I hear kyle gasp, and he shakily touches one of my rib bones. I jumped away, acting as if his finger were a branding iron. I collapse and ball my eyes out.

"C-cartman, I-I had no idea," Kyle says, taking my hand. "We all thought… You were working out or went on a diet- Oh-my-god. Fatass. T-this is my fault." He sank to the ground, his eyes taking a clouded look.

I desperately grabbed his hands. The light that was always in his eyes- was now gone, almost as if his innocence had been shattered. "Kyle! No, you didn't know! I caused this, I always called you a Jew remember? I'm the asshole nazi-sympathist?" I grabbed his chin, forcing him to look me in the eyes. Tears fell down his face, and he grabbed me, surrounding me with warmth, a welcomed thing in the brisk Colorado air.

"You were hiding behind a tough exterior, when in reality, you were hurting- badly." He snifled into my shoulder, breaking my heart in too.

"Hey, look, Jew's using big words," I say laughing, the pain obvious in my voice.

Kyle laughed, sniffling, and looking my determined, in the eyes. "I'm-m g-going to h-help y-you get-t better," he says sobbing.

"Thank you."

And on that cold Colorado street in the town of South Park, was where my life truly began.


	2. Chapter 2: Cheesy poofs

**I DONT OWN SOUTH PARK lol**

I sat in Kyle's living room, shifting alkwardly, feeling out of place. The pictures of a happy family on the walls, drawings Kyle and Ike had made in previous years framed.. So different from my home. I had a glass of water, and was taking small sips, trying to calm myself aftee the emotionally draining incident in front of my house... Kyle insisted I could live at his house, after he had found out how my "mother" treated me. I refused, but finally agreed to at least stay the night. If he knew about the physical abuse... Well I'm sure he would never let me leave. I sighed and leaned against the chair, closing my eyes.

The door swung open thudding against the wall. My eyes shot open, Stan coming into view. He smiled, as Kenny filed in behind him. "Sorry," he said laughing, as Kenny closed the door. I wiped my eyes and looked at the ground, the caepet suddenly becoming my focus. " Hey_ fatass." _Stan said taking the seat next to me. I visibly flinched as he said the word fatass.

"Cartman? You okay?" Kenny said, concern filling his voice, as he sat on the other side of me. I didnt look up, instead I looked at the floor even more directly.

" Yeah whats wrong _fatass,_ cheesy poofs get disconnected or something?" Stan said laughing. A tear fell down my face, dropping on the floor."

"Stan..." Kenny said, with an edge in his voice. Stan looked at me, shock filling his face.

"... Dude, what'd I say?" Stan said, concern filling his voice.

"Stan... Go into the other room." Kenny said, touching my shoulder.

"Um... Okay." He said, alkwardly shuffling out of the room.

Kyles POV

God, how did i not notice it before? He's so fucking skinny, I could see all of his ribs! I'm **never **calling him fatass again, as long as I live. "God this matress is heavy." I said. I was pulling the old matress out from under my bed, for Cartman. I placed It next to my bed and I went and grabbed some sheets from the closet. I ran downstairs, into the kitchen, and saw a note placed on the fridge.

_Hey buble,_

_I know this is short notice, but im afraid that your father, Ike, and I are going out of town for the week. Your aunt linda is having her baby, and were going to help. I dont trust Ike alone, remember last time? Well since your 18 now, I decided you can be on your own for the week. Stan, kenny, and that Cartman boy can come over, but no one else. Theres 200 dollars for an emergency or food. Remember to take your insulin._

_Love, mom._

_"_Geez mom'" I muttered to myself. I put the money in the cuboard, and paused in the kitchen when I heard someone talking in the next room.

"Hey fatass." Stan? I thought to myself. What is he doing here? Dammit, dont call him fatass.

"Cartman you ok?" Kenny? I thought.

" Yeah whats wrong fatass, cheesy poofs get disconnected or something?" Stan said. Rage built up inside me, picturing Cartmans sad face. Comments like this drove him to his disorder.

"Stan." Keny said.

"...Dude what'd I say?" Stan said.

" Stan, go in the other room." Kenny said.

'' Um, okay." Stan said walking into the kitchen.

Stan turned to me and smiled. " Hey kyle, Kenny and I just barged in, but we wanted to see you. By the way, whats wrong with Cartman. He's crying."

" Well Stan, you'd be crying to if you'd been living a lie for a year, your mom wanted you to die, and you were bulimic, and you had just tried to kill yourself by jumping in front of a car. My car in fact. And I brought him here so he could be away from his mom." I said, my voice filled with solace.

Stan stood there in shock. "Oh my god.. I've got to apologize." Stan said, guilt filling his voice.

I sighed and hugged him. " It's fine Stan. I'll talk to him, you didn't know."

**End of Chapter 2**

Hey everyone xD well the next chapter is gonna start off with kenny talking to cartman. Sorry these chapters have been short, I'll make the next one longer.

To anyone out their that likes, or even doesnt like my work, leave a review. Constructive critism is encouraged, and I'll read some of your writing if you want. :)


	3. Chapter 3:Who was none the wiser?

Chapter 3 Who was none the wiser?

I felt like throwing up. The word fatass was running in a constant loop throughout my head. Instead of focusing on the steady stinging in the eyes, or the steam of tears falling down my face, i was focused on keeping tje bile down my throat. Kennys words were becoming muddled together, like a complicated algirthym. Yeah cheesy poofs was discontinued Stan. It's not the bruises, emotionally and phsically. It's not the bad of bones I keep under this XXXL shirt. Its definetly the fucking cheesy poofs.

" ERIC! Snap out of it!" Kenny yelled, shaking me. I looked up at him abruptly, shaking myself from my thoughts. Tears thumped against the many surfaces around me. I wiped my tears and looked at Kenny. He sighed. "Sorry I yelled, but Cartman... You ok?" I look at him, seeing the concern lined across his face. I shook my head. Kenny and i didn't need words, he understood. I realized now that Butters wasn't the only one.. Well besides kyle. Kenny knew, and he probably had knew, ever since the first time I stuck a finger down my throat.

"How... How much-"

"Everything. Your mom. The puking. All of it. I knew you wouldn't change if I said anything. It might even make it worse. So I did the next best thing. I took your diet pills whenever I could. I stayed over your house, and let you stay over mine." He said, smileing sadly at me. That smile told me everything. All the nights he worried about my mom, about my "condition." Everything. I never knew anyone cared that much about me. I said the only two words I knew to say.

"Thank you." I wiped my eyes, and laid down on the couch, suddenely tired, drifting into sleep.

''Kenny, is he oka-" Kyle said, leaning against the doorframe.

"Shhh'' Kenny said, bringing his finger to his lips. "He's asleep."

"Im asuming you already know Kenny." Kyle said. Kenny nodded, putting a blanket over Cartman. "What are we going to do." I offered to let him stay here, but he's too proud." Kenny sighed.

"And stubborn." Kenny said.

'My mom's gonna be gone for the week, so I'll convince him to stay here that long first. You and stan should too, he needs the moral support." Stan walked in, sitting on the floor, next to kyle and kenny.

" kyle, I know we need to help Cartman but honestly, I need some fucking sleep."

''Yeah me too.. I'll sleep upstairs with stan, you take the couch with Cartman Kenny."

Next morning...

"Kyle, wake up!" Stan shouted, shoving Kyle.

"Fuck! Asshole, what time is it? And why the fuck are you dressed?"

" 5 am. And i was pissed too when Kenny woke up. Come on get dressed."

"FUCK, why?"

'Cartmans gone."


	4. Important

Sorry these last three Chapters have been short, Ill so better Dx lol.. The next Chapter will be muchhhhh longer. And if anyome wants to see any couples besides Cartman and Kyle, just leave a review with the couple you want. Ill get back to you asap. Thanks. If you like it, favorite. If you dont, let me know too.


	5. Chapter 4: You still sick?

I sat at Starks pond sighing to myself. The air was cold and brisk, and there was a layer of frost over everything. I skimed my hand over a rock, which was cold to the touch. Just like me, I thought to myself. I had treated Stan, Kyle, and even Kenny badly, so I didn't blame any of them for ever calling me fatass. The words Stan had spoke to me hurt, really bad, and normally, I would've shrugged it off. But not anymore, I'm just too tired to keep up this facade. My cockiness was really only skin deep. Kyles probably worried sick, I thought , frowning to myself. I had left the house just before dawn, so I wouldn't have to see any of them. I quite frankly didn't want their pity and- I was ashamed because of all the things I'd told them, and like a coward I'd fled- I couldn't face them. Besides-I'd told the fucking kike I was only staying for one night.

I thought about his perfect pale skin, and his lucious red looks, and his emerald green eyes. How I'd love to fuck him into the matress, him squealing in nee- .Wait. I stopped myself mid thought. What the fuck am I thinking, this is Kyle Broflofski I'm talking about! I admit hes good looking for a jew, biut for fucks sake, this is the kid I've known, and hated since kindergarten! I do not want to fuck him, I do Not love him, and I do not want his ass for a hat! I chuckled in spite of the situation, thinking of Bebe. I looked at the water sighing. But then again, I had always had a strange possivness for him, and I had saved him at least a dozen times. Maybe I do love him? Well it doesn't matter anyways. Kyle... Would never love me. I sat up, leaving Starks pond, having a sudden want for cigarettes. I headed down the road, and passed by City Wok, and saw a guy leaning up against it. He was tall, probably in his twenties, with dark drown hair. He had a muscular build, and was wearing a leather jacket, a white shirt, a ripped jeans. He was really handsome, and could make any girl swoon. He was smoking a cig, so I walked over to him, leaning against the entrance. ''Hey, mind if I bum one." I said taking out my lighter.

''Sure dude." He said, a smile on his face. He reached into his pocket, pulling out a cig.

" thanks" I said, leaning back. I lit in and inhaled, coughing. The guy looked at me laughing.

"Dude, have you ever smoked before."

"I have, but it's been a while.'' I said with a combination of laughter and coughing.

''What made you start again? These things will kill you you know." He said, his tone serious.

'' Honestly? I just need to fucking relax. And escape the void in my life."

"Bit of advice dude? Life's too fucking short. These problems that you have now.. They'll seem like nothing later. Don't sit around and do nothing, and regret it." He said, putting his lighter away, and hopping on a motorcyle.

''Dude thats fucking corny,'' I said smirking. He laughed, driving away. I Stood there for a while and finished my cigarette, throwing it on the ground and stomping on it. I walked down the street passing by several stores. The old candy store where we all one free candy. I smiled to myself, thinking of the tower to heaven. We were so niave, back then. Definetly not inocent, but niave.

"Cartman!" I spun around, seeing Butters. I sighed turning away from him. His optomistic view point towards the world pissed me off, especially since he was probably the worst of compared to anyone else in south park, including me. His parents had been beating him for years, always grounding him for trivial bullshit. But the worst of it all, is that everyone who does know, turns a blind eye. But maybe I'm just being a cynical asshole, Butters just handles things differently. If he wasn't this cheerful, well he probably would've given up long ago. We had been friends, for a while, and he tended to tell me all sorts of shit. He new I saw past the cheerful act.

''Hey Butters," I said, turning back towards him. A look of concern crossed his face, and he put his hand up to his mouth as if trying to decide whether to ask me something.

"Eric? Are you, um still getting "sick?" He said nervously. He looked up at me, his worrisome eyes meeting ones that glared in response. He flinched, sensing my dipleasure with the question.

"I. Have. No. Idea. What. Your. Talking. About." I said through clenched teeth.

"Listen Eric-"

"Butters look. You have enough problems, without bringing mine into the mix. Just stay out of it. I gotta go, see you later."

I walked away, heading back towards Stark Pond.

"Oh, Hamburgers!"

Kyles Pov

Oh god, where the fuck is he, what if he tried to kill himself again! This is all my fault, I shouldv'e known he would leave! Stan, was driving us all to try and find Cartman. We had already tried his house, (which was empty) And pretty much every store in town. Kenny looked at me, noteing the concern on my face. "Don't worry, well find him." Kenny said, smiling and touching my back. I jumped up in my seat, realizing where Cartman could be.

"I got it! Butters told me once that Cartman likes to hang out at Starks pond!" Stan smiled, and turned the car around, heading in the direction of Starks pond. We drove up and I saw Cartman sitting on a rock, looking at the water. Stan and Kenny started to get out of the car, and a held my hand up, signaling for them to stay.

"Cartman."

''What do you want Jew." He ssaid sighing, continuing to stare at the lake. "Im not in the mood for an argument.

''...Idiot, thats not why I'm here, I came to take you back to my house.''

"Sorry, being a charity case doesn't apeal to me. Look jew, I know you mean well, but you can't fix me or whatever. This isn't a chic flic, its real life.''

"... Your not a charity case. Your my friend. And who said anything anything about romance?" I said, playing with my hands, blushing.

" Oh come on, you know you want this." He said sarcastically, turning around and wigling his eyebrows.

I glared at him, for trying to change the topic. He rolled his eyes sighing. "Guess I've got no choice. Lets go."

"Really?" I said smiling. "Your not gonna run away again."

"Yea. I guess if I was gonna be anybody's charity case, it'd be yours.

kennys Pov

We got to the house, amd Kyle made a bed for Cartman upstairs. I stayed quiet, paying close attention to thewir interactions. The way Kyke would blush whenever they brushed hands. The way Cartman flinched every time they brushed. It was about time they realized their feelings, and like usual, I was going to have to bring it to light.

End of chapter four


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